This is full of compliments
We’re barely halfway through Passover and I’m already feeling very nostalgic for leavened foods, so here’s something that happened at the bakery last week.
We live pretty close to a bakery and I go there almost every day, ostensibly to buy sourdough bread or ginger cookies, but mostly to get outfit compliments. Once I read that Michael Phelps sets up every morning as a series of mini-wins, and now my first win of the morning is getting outfit compliments from the Gen Z bakery employees. (My second mini-win is eating a pastry.) I’m not saying I get dressed every morning with the express purpose of getting at least one outfit compliment, I’m just saying would it be bad if I did?
Anyway, last week, back when I ate leavened foods, I was waiting in line outside the bakery, just minutes away from compliments and croissants, when a car pulled over. There’s a graceful way to pull over but this car didn’t do it, it was very chase-scene-esque. A man jumped out of the driver’s side door and into the street.
“Excuse me.” the man said.
There were a few people in line, but he was only looking at me.
“I’m so sorry” he said. “Can I ask--” he said. He had walked closer to us and away from his car, but the engine was still running. In my imagination the car is also on fire, but in real life it wasn’t.
Anything seemed possible. Did he want a pastry? Parking help? Directions? CPR? He was already so apologetic about whatever was about to happen that I braced myself for the strangest request imaginable. I decided I’d be fine with going in and buying him a baguette, if that was what he wanted.
“I was wondering--” he said. “Where are your rain boots from?”
I told him where my rain boots are from, and he had some follow-up questions about how warm they are, and if they work well in puddles, and if they’re sturdy enough to go hiking in, and then he got back in his car and drove away.
It felt like an upside-down and nice version of catcalling: happy instead of sad, fun instead of scary. Maybe it felt like what some men might imagine catcalling feels like. I’m happy to talk about my rain boots anytime - except I won’t mention them here because even though they look good enough to stop traffic, they actually have holes in them that I haven’t been able to fix with patches, and one of the holes has started ripping my socks.
I think I just walk too much, but Boaz pointed out that’s supposed to be what boots are made for.
When it rains news it pours news:
On Tuesday night I’m chatting on Zoom with Jackie Davis of Underpants and Overbites (I accidentally wrote Overpants and Underbites and only noticed my mistake because there was a squiggly red line under “overpants.” Did I just invent overpants?) to celebrate her new book - the event is hosted by Floating World Comics, and if you pre-order her book from them you’ll get the Zoom link. I’m getting a haircut just a few hours before, and if it looks bad it will be too late to do anything, so the stakes are high. Come see my hair and celebrate her book birthday!
Snail Mail Party is shipping out this weekend! I’m so sorry for all the delays, I think it’s worth it. This is the last issue and we’re not planning on doing another round yet, but if we do another round you’ll hear about it here.
I’m working at a polling place again in our spring elections - if your job is flexible and you can get the day off, you can find out how to sign up to be a poll worker by searching “[your county] poll worker” or you could also try this website.
I just finished reading You’ll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey by Amber Ruffin and her sister Lacey, a collection of stories about everyday and seemingly nonstop racism, somehow written in the funniest way possible because Amber Ruffin is amazing. I really recommend it.
And, the biggest news of the week: Veronica at Sweetbriar Wildlife Rehab in New York used a Sad Animal Facts plushies box to rescue a great horned owlet! I’ve watched this thirty times.
Thanks so much for reading, happy Passover, stay safe, and everything else.