We need to talk about pants
Who wears them, who doesn't
Here’s the real question: if humans had tails, would they be obscene? Could we show a human tail on tv? Would there be an edgy celebrity with a tail peeking out at the Met Gala? Or would tails be totally public, and we’d always be going in for tail trimming and coloring and getting different tail treatments? I actually have a strong opinion on this after decades of thought, but I can hold off to hear other opinions first.
Do you also get frustrated by the lack of rules when animals are wearing clothes or using tools or seem to have other animals as pets? In Toy Story the toys are alive - are chess pieces alive? Are dice alive? If you use a penny as a piece in a board game is it alive now? What about other pennies, all the pennies in the world? Are crayons alive? When does it end?
When I wrote Sad Animal Facts I tried to have some loose rules - but it’s hard to know where to draw the line.
Camels don’t really need bathrooms. But at least they don’t have meerkats as pets? If you want to read it and judge my choices you can find Sad Animal Facts on bookshop.org or wherever books are.
Thanks for being here. I hope you have a good week and wear the amount of clothes you want to, that none of your pennies are alive unless you want them to be, and that you see some nice animals, pets or otherwise.
I'm thinking it's already hard enough for me to hide my true feelings if I had a tail everyone would know everything. On the inanimate object issue I've always treated all inanimate objects as if they were animated. I feel you should compliment your computers and printers and devices everyday so that they don't stop working as some random moment because they're mad at you or feel unappreciated. I also think that the reason for stubbed toes has a lot to do with us ignoring our furniture. It just wants a kind word occasionally and when it doesn't get it there goes your toe.
Sometimes I think about the pros and cons of tails, to determine whether I would want one or not. It's a personal decision, I guess, but I'm pretty sure I'd like to have one. I'd enjoy curling it around myself the way cats do.