This is a really good "standard." I need to suggest this to my son. (Who would 100% just eat the eggs and leave.)
Clarification: how do you define one dozen deviled eggs? Is that one dozen halves, for a total of 6 whole eggs? Or one dozen whole eggs, deviled, for a total of 24 halves?
He’s over 6’ and broad, so he does an actual dozen—>24 deviled, has a lovely plate…but 12 seems perfectly reasonable, for both the non-gigantic person and the average plate.
No no, John had it exactly right - the great thing about being an adult is that you can leave whenever you want to. Especially if you're in a city and Lyft is an option. Go on. Get out of there. :)
I don't really get invited to any parties, but I tend to like the idea of them more than actually being at them, and most are pretty boring when it comes down to it. My recommendations are 1)take an edible; even though it might make you feel weirder, things become more "interesting" 2) find a pet and pet it and if necessary talk to the owner about the pet. BTW, love the comic!
Yes!!! I am pretty extroverted and still absolutely *relished* the “I’ve got to feed the baby, see you in 20 minutes!” phase. It’s a built-in social break and it’s the best!
I'm in my 60's and I basically just get up and leave parties. We once left a wedding before the cake was cut... come to find out later, there was no cake. It was an ice cream bar. But, this habit is only for parties... not when having dinner with 2-4 other friends.
Most people who know me have stopped asking because they know I'm going to say no, thank you but no. They would still be nice to be asked. Personally I think all parties should have a room where you can sit and pet a cat or a dog. I realized that I'm probably far more social than I believe I am but that doesn't make it any easier. I always, if I have too much time to anticipate a get together, worry about everything from the parking to the food to the conversation starting to not having anything in common with anyone and to wanting to leave as soon as I arrive, maybe even as I drive by. if I knew there would be a room where I could sit with an animal that wasn't going to bite me I might show up. I am also always far too early because somewhere in my mind I believe that if I'm the first one there it'll be easier on me if others are joining me rather than my arriving later and trying to join a group.
John had it figured out. Also, keep the parties at your house to a bare minimum so that you aren't forced to be around people (ewww) beyond your tolerance watermark. And when visiting family, *always* get a hotel so you can leave when you want to. Any other plans lead to insanity.
I can so relate to this post. I would much rather sit and knit or read a good book than go to a party with a lot of people. And yet I never seem to be able to leave and am often amongst the last to leave. Can't really figure that part out!
I used to be one of the last people out the door, the one who made the host offer coffee (a signal I didn't yet know about...). But right around the time I turned 60 years old, something shifted; my former extra self turned inward, and began finding people exhausting to listen to. NOW I understand what the introverts in my life have been dealing with all along; though I miss my former social stamina. A working theory is that hot flashes have burned it away, leaving just me in my contented bubble. Thoughts?
I have zero problem with the Irish Goodbye. When I'm done, I'm done. I just disappear. No one cares. No one notices. It made my life so much easier when I realized this was a real, viable option.
Another thing that makes parties easier? I started bringing my knitting. Turns out, people don't actually care (and if they DO care, well, f*ck 'em), and it helps me avoid eye contact. Or conversation all together. Now, the reality is that I don't NEED to avoid eye contact or conversation... I don't need to look at my knitting at all. I can knit in the dark or with my eyes closed. And I'm told that the faster I talk, the faster I knit. But most people don't KNOW that. Which I use to my advantage. MWAHAHAHAHAHA.
My friend Thom makes a dozen deviled eggs. When they’re gone, he’s allowed to stay or leave. He’s not above eating them all so he can go.
🤣
I love this so much.
This is a really good "standard." I need to suggest this to my son. (Who would 100% just eat the eggs and leave.)
Clarification: how do you define one dozen deviled eggs? Is that one dozen halves, for a total of 6 whole eggs? Or one dozen whole eggs, deviled, for a total of 24 halves?
He’s over 6’ and broad, so he does an actual dozen—>24 deviled, has a lovely plate…but 12 seems perfectly reasonable, for both the non-gigantic person and the average plate.
No no, John had it exactly right - the great thing about being an adult is that you can leave whenever you want to. Especially if you're in a city and Lyft is an option. Go on. Get out of there. :)
I don't really get invited to any parties, but I tend to like the idea of them more than actually being at them, and most are pretty boring when it comes down to it. My recommendations are 1)take an edible; even though it might make you feel weirder, things become more "interesting" 2) find a pet and pet it and if necessary talk to the owner about the pet. BTW, love the comic!
Honestly reading this brought me relief and comfort. Turns out this is a normal feeling? Wow give me an exit sign!
Boaz definitely got the mingle gene. I have gotten much better about leaving a party when I have reached my limit.
Having a baby (either with you or at home) is literally the best/easiest excuse to leave a party!
I know because I invoke this excuse all the time 😆
I'm not a "baby" person and have no desire to go back to the baby-days, but that WAS the one (and perhaps only) perk of having small children!
Yes!!! I am pretty extroverted and still absolutely *relished* the “I’ve got to feed the baby, see you in 20 minutes!” phase. It’s a built-in social break and it’s the best!
I’m usually pretty social but I’ve also been known to hide in the bathroom when I get overwhelmed.
I'm in my 60's and I basically just get up and leave parties. We once left a wedding before the cake was cut... come to find out later, there was no cake. It was an ice cream bar. But, this habit is only for parties... not when having dinner with 2-4 other friends.
Most people who know me have stopped asking because they know I'm going to say no, thank you but no. They would still be nice to be asked. Personally I think all parties should have a room where you can sit and pet a cat or a dog. I realized that I'm probably far more social than I believe I am but that doesn't make it any easier. I always, if I have too much time to anticipate a get together, worry about everything from the parking to the food to the conversation starting to not having anything in common with anyone and to wanting to leave as soon as I arrive, maybe even as I drive by. if I knew there would be a room where I could sit with an animal that wasn't going to bite me I might show up. I am also always far too early because somewhere in my mind I believe that if I'm the first one there it'll be easier on me if others are joining me rather than my arriving later and trying to join a group.
I don't like to be the first or last to leave a party or any event. But I will def be the first to leave if I hate what's happening.
John had it figured out. Also, keep the parties at your house to a bare minimum so that you aren't forced to be around people (ewww) beyond your tolerance watermark. And when visiting family, *always* get a hotel so you can leave when you want to. Any other plans lead to insanity.
I can so relate to this post. I would much rather sit and knit or read a good book than go to a party with a lot of people. And yet I never seem to be able to leave and am often amongst the last to leave. Can't really figure that part out!
I believe leaving a party without saying good bye is called a French exit. It’s not rude, it’s chic! I learned the term from this old Cup of Jo post: https://cupofjo.com/2022/09/14/how-to-ghost-at-a-party/
I used to be one of the last people out the door, the one who made the host offer coffee (a signal I didn't yet know about...). But right around the time I turned 60 years old, something shifted; my former extra self turned inward, and began finding people exhausting to listen to. NOW I understand what the introverts in my life have been dealing with all along; though I miss my former social stamina. A working theory is that hot flashes have burned it away, leaving just me in my contented bubble. Thoughts?
Remember the words of Jonathan Richman:
Well, if you wanna leave our party, just go right away
I have zero problem with the Irish Goodbye. When I'm done, I'm done. I just disappear. No one cares. No one notices. It made my life so much easier when I realized this was a real, viable option.
Another thing that makes parties easier? I started bringing my knitting. Turns out, people don't actually care (and if they DO care, well, f*ck 'em), and it helps me avoid eye contact. Or conversation all together. Now, the reality is that I don't NEED to avoid eye contact or conversation... I don't need to look at my knitting at all. I can knit in the dark or with my eyes closed. And I'm told that the faster I talk, the faster I knit. But most people don't KNOW that. Which I use to my advantage. MWAHAHAHAHAHA.